vent.

[disclaimer]if you read past this be prepared for a 30 second vent session.

for the people that haven't seen me recently let me predict our conversation:

"you look so skinny!

why yes. i have lost weight.

working out?

um.no.

well how?

celiac disease."

but what i really want to say is..
"i'm hungry.

i dream about food.

i'll even smell your breath after you eat bread.

i have the brain of a 500 pound obese man.

i have devils running in my intestines.

with spiked boots on.

and sharp, knifelike teeth.

don't say i look good.

i don't want to look good.

i want to be a 500 pound man.

give me cellulite. fat rolls. double chins.

give me jiggley arms. cottage cheese thighs."

 i don't want to validate my set of devil intestines. i blame them for "looking so good".

i would whole heartedly accept "looking so good" if i "felt so good".

but i don't.