23.

Hi. My name is Sydney. Sometimes just Syd.
I am twenty. THREE. 23.
Just trying it on.


I believe 23 means I'm an adult. Or maybe something else means I'm an adult. And maybe I'm just supposed to be one by age 23. But I think I was adult-ish when my best friend&I took the train to New Orleans. We even got off the train and ate by ourselves. We even left a tip. Twenty percent probably. We were 16. I felt the same again as I got on the interstate all alone at 16 and three quarters. And again as I walked out of the MC coliseum, high school diploma in hand. And again as I sat on a bare mattress in Rice Hall with the same train riding partner, mapping out patterns of our room arrangement. And again as I said goodbye to my grown-up friends. And again when I made my first fake ID. And again when I got my first legal ID. And again as baked ziti sizzled away in my very own oven in my very own house. And again when I sat in my screened in porch. Drinking beer and smoking cigs with my roomates. And again as I mended my grown-up friendships. And again when I discovered I don't enjoy "radio music". And again when I decided I am not where I'm supposed to be.
And again.And again.

But then, I'm not so sure I know what an adult is. I may or may not be getting there. Because my TV never strays from the Disney Channel. And I'm afraid of the dark. And Disney World is still my choice of vaction. Because I still feel like I'm going to be in trouble if I do something my mom told me not to do. Sometimes I believe Miley Cyrus&Taylor Swift are my best friends. Because I choose to play Thomas the Train with my nephew instead of engaging in adult conversation. I refer to Joe Jonas as my boyfriend. I'm happiest when I wake up to the smell of breakfast cooked by my Big Mom. A breakfast feast big enough to be considered a last meal for someone on death row. And she cooks it just for me. I paid for my drug&paid for&forced my best friend to go see The Jonas Brothers Concert 3-D. I get happy hands when I see a cupcake. Because I have a secret obsession with dinosaurs. I enjoy telling my nephew all about them. Hannah Montana is a rockstar. And although the majority of my best friends are engaged/married/with children(s), I know I would be a terrible wife right now. A great mom, terrible wife. And undoubtedly, the best concert I've ever been to was Hannah Montana/Jonas Brothers.

So here's to 23, whatever that means and whatever I am. I feel like an awfully inadequate, insane, incredible 23-year old.

Here's to 23 cupcakes. To 23 Hannah Montana episodes.

To new dreams, new grown-up friends, and alot more baked ziti.

To 23 more years with these girls..

{circa 2002}

{circa 2004}                                                                                                                                         {circa 2008}